Somethings Never Change

So, my old roommates convinced me to go out tonite. I'm just getting back and it is 4am. Can I say that I had a really good time with them. They showed up at my job at 11:30. I had to count the money, so I was running a little behind. I honestly wasn't expecting them to come so soon, but I knocked the money stuff out and jumped in the truck. I have had very limited interaction since I moved out of our collective apartment when I lease ended in May 07. It took all of....36 seconds for me to realize that nothing had changed. The dynamic between each of us was still the same. It was relief for me to realize that they were the same guys that I had met 3 1/2 years ago. I guess some things never change.

So, we went club hopping. I guess we really only hopped once cause the second club was live as hell. I had told them that I had never been there and so we went. It was a good choice too cause the DJ was spinning some good stuff and people were dancing. The previous club was filled with drunk soldiers who had wandered off base for a deserved break. We went in and it didn't take us long to get swept up in the dancing. Now I usually don't dance. Not cause I can't [cause I can BREAK IT DOWN if necessary] but because I really don't feel moved to dance when 87.23% of the club is just standing on the wall watching the dance floor. The people here were moving. I got caught up to say the least; it didn't take long for me to start pulling out everything that I could replicate from Stomp The Yard. It was a good time. Th thought to scope out someone barely crossed my mind. I did see a hottie in some Timbs that caught my eye, but I disregarded it cause I didn't think that there was any interest. On a high note there was this HOT asian girl. I didn't see her until the damn club was closing. She was in a yellow dress....{shakes head}...I pointed her out to one of the roomies and our collective jaws dropped. She looked our way and I turned my head quickly. It was a punk move that I normally don't fall prey to, but she was that good looking. So, I'm a big guy I guess {In my mind I'm still 5'3 125} and she grabbed the back of the hoodie I was wearing so that she could make it out of the club. I thought it would be the gentlemen thing to help, so I grabbed her hand and led her out! We nearly made it to the street together, but her friend grabbed her other hand and said "girl, you can't go home with him." I wanted to say, "yes the hell she can!" but I gave her a smile and joined my boys out front. It wasn't a big deal, but it felt good all the same.

I admitted to David, who is one of my old roommates that moving out was one of the biggest mistakes that I had ever [and I mean in my life} made. I told the other two guys tonite while we were waiting in Krystals for their orders. They reciprocated the feeling. They actually told me that they missed me first, and that prompted me to admit that I wished that I had never broken us up. We agreed that if we found a four bedroom that we'd move in together again as soon as the chance presents itself.

It was an awesome night overall. The relationship between David and me hadn't changed either. We were arguing before the night was over. The other two didn't know because we argued in Travis' truck while they were inside Krystals ordering their food. Alcohol does something to him that not so great. Our years together taught me that, so I ignored some of his disparaging comments. I know once he barfed or pissed the booze out then he'd be good again. He also nearly out me to my fourth roomie (his name is T) at the club. He leaned in and yells "Are you into light skinned guys?!" I really didn't hear him, but I guess he realized that T was in VERY close proximity and that he had said it too loud. He started apologizing, but T either didn't hear it, didn't understand, or disregarded it. I'm hoping for a mixture of all three. I didn't sweat it though. It registered after a second what he had asked me and I answered him.

I ended up driving us to Krystals, then to my place to drop me off. I was the official designated driver when we stayed together. Both because I held liquor the best and because I rarely drink. Its not that I don't want to, but if you read my "10 Things" post then you know that I'm very.....paternal. I always feel responsible and I must do the right thing. David teases me about it often, but I had certain expectations growing up and I haven't been able to avoid feeling like I should maintain the capacity to act accordingly if an unexpected situation arises.

I've been working like crazy because there is a car that I have my eye on. I know that my life will be exponentially more easy when I get wheels. Its one of the things that I'm shooting for by the end of January.

I had a great night, and its back to the real world for me tomorrow. I will definitely be doing this again.

What Happens When You Don't Take A Chance?

I went out with an old friend of mine. I had a great time. I really hadn't gone out in abt months, just tied up with work and what not. We decided to go out to get some drinks and hit the clubs.

The night went well. While David and I were sitting in our booth a lady walks by me and tells me that I had the sexiest lips. HAHA! I had simply smiled at her when she walked by the first time, but I guess that it caught her attention... :? I kept checking my lips for the rest of the night. :) I thought that it was strange of her to say. I agree that my lips and smile are my best features. They are my money move. I am a big teeth person so smiles really do it for me.

After drinking we hit the club. We went into a place called Oxygen. I had seen it a bunch of times, but never went inside. It was NICE. It wasn't as packed as I imagined it would be but I still had a good time. I was standing by the bar and some girls were dancing on each other. One stops and comes over and starts grinding on me. I give her a little attention and her friend comes over and makes it a three-some. My buddy who is with me says that I've been getting all the attention tonite. I laughed. He went to the bathroom and I decided to be adventurous. Th girl who had come over to me was now alone. I pulled up a chair and patted it, indicating for her to sit down. Then I dicked her down! I gave her a little lap dance gyrating everything I own on her. She almost fell out of the chair, but I caught the back of it. The funny part was that I did all of this while holding David's drink!

We left a little after 1:30am. I had really wanted to dance some more, but there wasn't really anyone on the dance floor and my threesome partners were gone. I ended up driving home, hadn't had anything but an Incredible Hulk and a Long Island Ice Tea, so I was good. David was a little buzzed. We got to my place so that he could sober up before he went home. I did the thing that I do when I start asking questions, but had told me that the night was supposed to be abt me. He decided to ask me some stuff that was on his mind. I did my usual to steer the convo his way. He was sharp and caught on to my ploy. Then he surprised me. He asked me to show him my dick. Let me stop and say that I had known for a long time that he was gay and he is the only person that I had ever told that I was as well. He is probably reading this right now thinking of all the horrible things that he will do to me, but that's ok. The point of this blog is for me to have an outlet to speak freely and I owe it to you guys to be honest.

His request threw me for a loop. I had always thought of him as a cousin that you really don't see often, but you really enjoy. My immediate thought was this was his last stage of seduction. In my tendency to overthink I saw the night out sort of like a date. I ran through my mind that perhaps he had planned this. But then I also thought, who the hell would want to seduce ME?! Again the request to pull it out came. I didn't reject the request, I simpy told him that it felt weird to go that route with him. Now, nearly 24 hours later, after being at work all day and seeing happy couples, my mind starts to think, why didn't I take the chance? He's not clingy, or needy? I don't think that he would start waiting in my parking lot to catch glimpses of me. Why didn't I take the chance? David cited my tendency to overthink. I agree that I overthink and explained to him why, but he dismissed my answer. Thought I didn't show it, that made me angry. I was honest with him and he sort of wrote it off. I rarely explain myself to people, cause my thoughts are they either don't care of won't get it.

As I'm writing this my mind goes to razz's response to a comment I made on his blog. He posed the quintessential question of whether it [dating Jay] was worth it. And how much would he have to compromise in order to make it work. It probably turned out to be very little now that he's in the relationship and it's thriving, but I have the same thought going on in mind. How much would I have to comprmise to have a hook up with David? I have a Dick over Feelings threshold, and when I pass that I no longer feel like its E, but rather someone else that has taken over.

I always thought [and this will be SOOO corny] that my first time with a guy would be [sigh] special. Not special in the 'I LoveYou' sort of way, but something memorable that I will look back on at be able to laugh at. Had I did the horizontal hokey-pokey with David it would not have met my expectations. And if I'm looking at this unrealistically someone please say something!! But as I follow some of these blogs and browse others, I see relationships of substance proliferating. It makes me think, Damn, I could find a good guy who might be willing to date and be interested in what I think and what the hell I have to say. David had made clear to me that he's not interested in a relationship or anything that resembles such...but what happens when you don't take a chance?

Song
"More to Life" Stacie Orrico

Thought for Today
Why take the road less traveled by?

~E

Halloween, Hoes, Hit & Run, and Horniness

So, it dawned on me that I had not shared the excitement surrounding my Halloween party. So it started with my friend and I [we were hosting it together] going to a party store. We bought a bunch of decorations and went to redecorate for the party. After spending an hour moving furniture, checking lighting, arguing over what music to play, and who NOT to invite, we finished and I went to Work. I slaved as work, trying all the while to be nice to customers while counting down to the party. Finally at 9:30 we were all done and I escaped.

We decided to change the location to my best friend Tiffany's house since it was easier to rigg up our stuff there. When I arrive from work she had everything ready to receive guests. I had gotten myself ready for all the party hoes [see previous posts for definition], but my friends had other plans for me. I had a so-so day at work and wanted alcohol in my system, so I had three beers, five shots, two smirnoffs and a tooter within 10 minutes of walking in the door. I received several strange looks from my friends, who seemed like they wanted to sign me up for the next AA meeting. I ignored them and slid to the floor. I like to dance, but I am painfully shy, so the booze helped me disregard the other ppl in the room. I ended up pinning a co-worker against the wall and grinding on her...there are pictures of it on myspace.....

I figured that I would just chill for the rest of the night and mind my business, but no, Tiffany had plans for me. She decided that she wanted me and the Valerie to hook up. So that was the plan, but there was a problem. Valerie up and disappeared. We went looking for her, and I kinda lost interest in her. Meanwhile the party was to get far more interesting as we moved to the breezeway outside and began getting uninvited visitors. We didn't mind though, there was plenty to drink and we even had snacks to eat. One guy was tore up when he got there, and as we were on the third story I was surprised that he even made to our party. He tried to push up some of the girls, but they weren't feeling him. Eventually he and Valerie started dancing together. They fell on the floor and somehow ended up with their pants down [don't ask me how]. Luckily Tiffany swooped in and stopped something Valerie might regret. She was so drunk that I doubt that she would have remembered.

I snuck out as the party wound down and called my little brother. I'm not really sure why I called him, but he and I are really close, so he talked to me as I walked back to my apartment [which is only across the parking lot from the party]. I knew that I had taken in too many spirits in a short time and I have a famously strong alcohol tolerance, but I forgot to eat so I could feel the beer and shots of bacardi and rum swirling around in my tummy. I laid down in my bathroom thinking that I was going to vomit, but nothing ever came out and I feel asleep. I woke up an hour later and heard lots of noise. The guy who had come to my party completely fucked up hit four cars on his way out of the parking lot. It turns out that he had taken 6 zanex [sp?], 6 shots, and smoked 6 blunts BEFORE coming to my party and consuming more alcohol. I don't know how the hell he did it but he made it home alive; too bad he lived across the street from my best friend's boyfriend's cousin. They reported the dumb fuck.

At this point I climbed into the bed. I was tired as hell from the party. Then I threw up. I was mad as hell. I spent two hours hoovering over a toliet in my bathroom and nothing comes, then when I get ready to go to bed THEN it happens. Luckily I had enough sense to lean over my bed. I grabbed one of the shopping bags that I had gotten from worked and made my deposit. Some of it got on my laptop bag, which made me pissed, but a trip to the washer cleared that up. I awoke the next day to "what the hell happened to you" talks from my bestfriend and her boyfriend. I told that I left to avoid sleeping with Valerie, but the truth is that I probably woulda hit that if I had found her...uh. The story also traveled fast to my job, cause the next day four co-workers told that they heard what happened and wished that they had come. I told them that they'll bring their asses when I throw a New Year's Party, but I was BS-ing.

So now a week after the party I have decided to find some one. I'm absolutely jealous of AJ over at AJ's ramblings. It sounds like he has a hot thing going with Matt. So now I am in the process of scouting someone for me, not sure exactly what I'll find, but I'll blog when I see him.