What's wrong with me?

So, I've got it bad. Ever since I've began to come to grips with actually liking guys and wanting to date them I have begun to suspect every good looking guy might be gay. I don't know what is the norm with self-revelatory experiences, but {and please keep in mind that I'm lonely} I keep meeting guys and dying to know whether they are gay or being nice. I'm not sure where this is stemming from, but I keep checking ring fingers, mannerisms, length of eye contact and who they are with to see if there is the potential that the individual might be into guys.
For example, I was at work today. I was folding a table of shirts that had been massacred. A guy had come up to my table and we started a casual conversation. After several laughs I look down and see a ring on his finger. I was hoping that he just arbitrarily wore a ring on his left hand-fourth finger; then his damn wife rolls up. This made me upset. I wanted to say "bitch, do you not see us talking! I know you got more shopping to do."
This is why next week I am going to a gay club. I was waiting until a friend of mine could find the time to take me, but I don't have the tolerance to wait any longer. I have to meet someone before I shrivel and die. I suspect that I am close to getting a girlfriend and that actually makes me sorta mad. There is this girl named Jillian and she's alright, but really not what I'm looking for at the current moment.

Thought of the Day
Isn't flirting a way of making your intentions obvious?

Song
"Meant to Live" by Switchfoot