So, apparently the impression is that I am straight. I can see how that people would get that impression, but it seems like a large assumption to me. I just finished hearing my two housemates and a friend of theirs speaking in our living room. They were talking about the guy catching some gay dudes in his fraternity having sex. The way that he was describing what went down was slightly disturbing. I know that if my sexual preference was common knowledge that the conversation would not have gone on. But what's the point where I say something?
I'm 6'1'', 230. I can say without ego that the three of them together couldn't have taken me. I'm not angry, but I am curious as to why guys sit around and talk about stuff like that? Is there nothing else to discuss? I think straight guys have some obsession about knowing who is gay and who is not, as if somehow those of us who are might to plan to jump them in showers and buttfuck their brains out.
Song
"Slow Motion" Karina Pasian
Showing posts with label coming out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coming out. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
It's Coming
Today my morning began quite early. For some unknown reason I have been waking up at like 8am every morning. Regardless of whether I have slept sufficiently, or set an alarm clock, or intended to sleep in, I have gotten up at 8. My day was fine until 2 hours ago. I missed the bus from my house and I don't have a car. My best friend is acting like an ass, and I hate my job. So, all in all it was a sucky morning/afternoon.
And I know what's coming. I know that very soon my bestfriend and I are going to have an argument. I also know that I am tired of dealing with stupid shit. I very nearly n the verge of yelling that I am bi, and don't give a flying fuck what she thinks, and I am going to be happy, either with a best friend or all a-fucking-lone. Usuallly I am very self-contained, I think that all adults should be. There's no reason to wild-out like you no fucking sense, but damnit I am angry.
Congrats Barack!
And I know what's coming. I know that very soon my bestfriend and I are going to have an argument. I also know that I am tired of dealing with stupid shit. I very nearly n the verge of yelling that I am bi, and don't give a flying fuck what she thinks, and I am going to be happy, either with a best friend or all a-fucking-lone. Usuallly I am very self-contained, I think that all adults should be. There's no reason to wild-out like you no fucking sense, but damnit I am angry.
Congrats Barack!
Friday, October 31, 2008
The First Person
Ok. So, here is the backstory. When I was..younger...three friends and I decided to get an apartment together. We figured it would be more cost effective than staying at school housing, so we got a great apartment and all moved in. We had lived together the previous year and kinda had a feel for one another. Before we moved in David and I bumped heads. I was sort of seen as the bad guy and we fell out. It didn't take long, but we got past that, moved in together, and we were content. Shortly into out stint as roomies we had a small get together at out apartment. Though I didn't realize it at the time, David was our resident party hoe. He could find a good party and throw one as well.
So, on the night of our party some people fell asleep on his bed, not wanting to be rude he didn't wake them. I told him that he was welcome to sleep in my room. That's when he began confessing. It didn't take too much prodding on my end. He accused me of already knowing anyway and it was true. I had a very strong suspicion that he was gay, but I figured that if he wanted me to know that he would tell me; then he told me. I let him know that I was happy that he felt like he could trust me with his secret and we talked for the rest of the night.
It was a new chapter in our friendship. There were so many things that we shared interests in [that's horrible grammar]. We love movies, music, and books. I remember many a night that we sat awake brainstorming how beyonce or ne-yo's next album should sound. Often we would give a play-by-play synopsis of that night's American Idol, who could be getting voted off, and why they screwed up. It was the best of times, so it was natural for me to tell him about my same sex curiosity. He wasn't the only person I knew that was gay [My sister is out], but for someone reason I trusted him the most. I think because we both understood what it was like to have a secret and not be able to tell anyone. My confession really sprung forth after I had moved out [dumb mistake] and we were chatting online. David was giving me the detail of a steamy hook up that happened with a common friend. As he was telling me the story a part of me felt like I had not reciprocated the same trust that he had always shown me. I remember typing "Oh no, now you're gonna make me confess..." I never knew if he suspected what was coming next. I told him that I had hooked up with the same guy [he was and is the only guy with whom I've done anything] a few months prior.
Well, let's say that it was WHOLE new chapter. It was the biggest secret that I had told anyone, and apart of me was relieved that I had told him. It was the first time that I wasn't worried that someone would use something personal to manipulate me. As David can confirm, I am very concerned when it comes to privacy. I was actually happy that there was something else that we had in common, something that linked us, that I could ask his advice on, or compare experiences to :} I had never told anyone before him, and no one since......except all of you.
So, on the night of our party some people fell asleep on his bed, not wanting to be rude he didn't wake them. I told him that he was welcome to sleep in my room. That's when he began confessing. It didn't take too much prodding on my end. He accused me of already knowing anyway and it was true. I had a very strong suspicion that he was gay, but I figured that if he wanted me to know that he would tell me; then he told me. I let him know that I was happy that he felt like he could trust me with his secret and we talked for the rest of the night.
It was a new chapter in our friendship. There were so many things that we shared interests in [that's horrible grammar]. We love movies, music, and books. I remember many a night that we sat awake brainstorming how beyonce or ne-yo's next album should sound. Often we would give a play-by-play synopsis of that night's American Idol, who could be getting voted off, and why they screwed up. It was the best of times, so it was natural for me to tell him about my same sex curiosity. He wasn't the only person I knew that was gay [My sister is out], but for someone reason I trusted him the most. I think because we both understood what it was like to have a secret and not be able to tell anyone. My confession really sprung forth after I had moved out [dumb mistake] and we were chatting online. David was giving me the detail of a steamy hook up that happened with a common friend. As he was telling me the story a part of me felt like I had not reciprocated the same trust that he had always shown me. I remember typing "Oh no, now you're gonna make me confess..." I never knew if he suspected what was coming next. I told him that I had hooked up with the same guy [he was and is the only guy with whom I've done anything] a few months prior.
Well, let's say that it was WHOLE new chapter. It was the biggest secret that I had told anyone, and apart of me was relieved that I had told him. It was the first time that I wasn't worried that someone would use something personal to manipulate me. As David can confirm, I am very concerned when it comes to privacy. I was actually happy that there was something else that we had in common, something that linked us, that I could ask his advice on, or compare experiences to :} I had never told anyone before him, and no one since......except all of you.
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