I've decided its past time. I've noted before that I signed up for Adam4Adam. This was done with the express purpose of finding a date; but as I am wont to do I ended up being so immersed in work for the last 11 months that I had not gone on. Until last week. It had to be sheer horniness, or loneliness; I do not know which is more powerful, that forced me back onto the site. I uploaded a picture and went to work looking for a boyfriend.
I acutely understood that most of the active members were probably on for the express purpose of hooking up, and though I didn't have disimilar aims, I did want to actually meet people. I've gone to West Hollywood (gay central of Los Angeles on many occasions, but had yet to actually summon the nerve to talk to anyone besides the my friend(s) that I'd brought along. I saw online as a more passive way to meet and connect with people. The result: Saturday I went on my first date with a guy. Ever.
Showing posts with label gay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay. Show all posts
Monday, October 3, 2011
Friday, January 23, 2009
The punch that you never see coming, that's the hardest one.
I was blind-sided today. I am rarely taken off guard. I like to know what's coming. It gives me longer to prepare my story, practice in the mirror, ready my alibi. There was no such preparation tonight, little forethought, and shock in amounts more ample that I care for. Let me explain.
I just stepped out of my bestfriend's car 5 minutes ago. We had our usual conversation that covered most of the events of the past week. I see her less and less, so there is much for us to discuss when we do see each other. We wove our way through the conversation and ended up in the rumors section. I made a reference about having fun at a club last Saturday and I sprung a trap. During a few seconds of contemplative silence she informed me that there was a rumor about me.
I would like to say "my stomach dropped" or that my "blood ran cold" but the truth is that it didn't. I was calm and collected. I maintain that my business is my business with people who aren't in my close circle, but realistically I expected that eventually someone would start something circulating about me. Tonight I wasn't disappointed.
Tiffany informed my that there was a rumor that I was seen out at a gay club last Saturday. Someone we know, a reasonably friendly associate of ours, said that they saw me, a short guy, and some shirtless guy hanging out together. I was struck dumb. I was dumber than dumb. I was Helen Keller.
I had spent a week fretting over whether Camille would blab about seeing me, and one of my own associates straight up was telling people. *Backstory* The girl was in love with my bestfriend's boyfriend's cousin [the one whose house we went to for new years]. She and I have a shared love of music, and she is very chill. She declared at the restaurant that we went to last Friday that she was going to become a lesbian because her feelings for the cousin were unrequited. I lauded the intrepidity of her decision. Her name is Lyn.
I, after recovering, laughed at the story. It hurt me to lie so blatantly. Ok, that's not true. It came to me naturally. I felt bad lying to my bestfriend, but the denial and a cover-up story spilled from my lips before I could debate whether or not to tell the truth. There were holes in the story and I quickly poked at them to make them bigger. Tiffany deemed that the rumor wasn't true because of the part about the shirtless guy. She didn't know anyone that I hang out with that seemed to fit the description. The truth was that they mistook Ben for a friend, instead of recognizing the reality of the situation. I was a little whore that night and I never really met the guy myself, but was flirting and making-out. I believe that Lyn might have seen that part and reported such, but Tiffany omitted it from the story out of deference for my perceived heterosexuality.
Other than that the story was dead on. Apart of it made me wonder whether Tiffany had found my blog or not. I had already hinted for her to look on google's list of blogs. Could she really have found it? That possibility and an extra memory popped into my head. Earlier when I was in the club I heard someone call my name. Have you had the feeling that someone, like your mother, has called you when in reality you had only imagined it? I had that sensation, but dismissed it. I figured that I was just worried because it was my first night out.
Now, I am in a very interesting predicament. I had my mind sort of made up to ask David to go back to the club with me, but I can't go now. Tiff told me that the cousin and her boyfriend hadn't believe the story either. She paused noticeably to give me a chance to confess. I think it is reasonable to assume that I continued to play my role. I came up with the lie that there was only one gay club in or city and I had never been there before. And since Lyn was drunk when she "saw" me that added to the doubt factor and my story was accepted. What is funny is that Lyn came into the store last night. We spoke briefly and she shopped a bit. She didn't even mention the club. I find that strange in retrospect.
I also think I might have not played my role as well as I could have. Like I said, usually I have time. Tiffany might have begun to suspect something. Now, I gott bring home a girl......
I just stepped out of my bestfriend's car 5 minutes ago. We had our usual conversation that covered most of the events of the past week. I see her less and less, so there is much for us to discuss when we do see each other. We wove our way through the conversation and ended up in the rumors section. I made a reference about having fun at a club last Saturday and I sprung a trap. During a few seconds of contemplative silence she informed me that there was a rumor about me.
I would like to say "my stomach dropped" or that my "blood ran cold" but the truth is that it didn't. I was calm and collected. I maintain that my business is my business with people who aren't in my close circle, but realistically I expected that eventually someone would start something circulating about me. Tonight I wasn't disappointed.
Tiffany informed my that there was a rumor that I was seen out at a gay club last Saturday. Someone we know, a reasonably friendly associate of ours, said that they saw me, a short guy, and some shirtless guy hanging out together. I was struck dumb. I was dumber than dumb. I was Helen Keller.
I had spent a week fretting over whether Camille would blab about seeing me, and one of my own associates straight up was telling people. *Backstory* The girl was in love with my bestfriend's boyfriend's cousin [the one whose house we went to for new years]. She and I have a shared love of music, and she is very chill. She declared at the restaurant that we went to last Friday that she was going to become a lesbian because her feelings for the cousin were unrequited. I lauded the intrepidity of her decision. Her name is Lyn.
I, after recovering, laughed at the story. It hurt me to lie so blatantly. Ok, that's not true. It came to me naturally. I felt bad lying to my bestfriend, but the denial and a cover-up story spilled from my lips before I could debate whether or not to tell the truth. There were holes in the story and I quickly poked at them to make them bigger. Tiffany deemed that the rumor wasn't true because of the part about the shirtless guy. She didn't know anyone that I hang out with that seemed to fit the description. The truth was that they mistook Ben for a friend, instead of recognizing the reality of the situation. I was a little whore that night and I never really met the guy myself, but was flirting and making-out. I believe that Lyn might have seen that part and reported such, but Tiffany omitted it from the story out of deference for my perceived heterosexuality.
Other than that the story was dead on. Apart of it made me wonder whether Tiffany had found my blog or not. I had already hinted for her to look on google's list of blogs. Could she really have found it? That possibility and an extra memory popped into my head. Earlier when I was in the club I heard someone call my name. Have you had the feeling that someone, like your mother, has called you when in reality you had only imagined it? I had that sensation, but dismissed it. I figured that I was just worried because it was my first night out.
Now, I am in a very interesting predicament. I had my mind sort of made up to ask David to go back to the club with me, but I can't go now. Tiff told me that the cousin and her boyfriend hadn't believe the story either. She paused noticeably to give me a chance to confess. I think it is reasonable to assume that I continued to play my role. I came up with the lie that there was only one gay club in or city and I had never been there before. And since Lyn was drunk when she "saw" me that added to the doubt factor and my story was accepted. What is funny is that Lyn came into the store last night. We spoke briefly and she shopped a bit. She didn't even mention the club. I find that strange in retrospect.
I also think I might have not played my role as well as I could have. Like I said, usually I have time. Tiffany might have begun to suspect something. Now, I gott bring home a girl......
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I loved that F!&@ing Shirt
Where do I begin...
I've mentioned before that I wanted to go to a gay club, just to feel the vibe and also to get the curiosity out my system. Well, my friend David, a friend of his and I went last night. We chose the newest one in town, which neither of the two of them had ever been to. We got great parking and ended up right in front of the club, so we decided to do a little stake out and see what was up before entering. We ended up sitting outside for 20 mintues! Finally I went in to check it out for them so we could see if it was jumping or not. I walked into the door and there was this very short lady security guard who asked me for i.d. I politely told her that I was just checking the atmosphere out and had two friends that were waiting for me outside. I scoped out the scene: Bar: too small; number of ppl: deep as hell; and a throng of them gathered around a drag queen dancing to a song I didn't know.
So, I went back to the car and told them [in succinctly accurate detail] what was inside. David and I got out of his car and went to his friend Curtis' car but Curtis decided that he didn't want to get out. He wanted to go home instead. I had never met him, but I needed as much veteran support as possible on my first excursion. So, after some very deft coercion he agreed. As he gets out of his car, David turns to me and says, "You're good". I wanted to agree, but it wouldn't have been modest ;) As we approached the door I asked a young lady outside what it was like in the club. Though I had been inside, I had only seen unattractive ppl on the outside when we first parked. She said that it was jumping, but didn't know if it was my type of scene. I [because I love playing dumb] asked her what kind of scene was it. She told me that it was a gay club and that most straight guys probably couldn't handle it. I assured that I was looking for a good time, and if this club was popping then I would be ok. I was both intrigued and amused that she had assumed that I was straight.
So, we stroll into the club, immediately hit the bar and go up to a loft area in the back. We chill for a bit as we watch the Drag Queen show and as David and I point out who we each think is hot and those who should have not been allowed admittance. I must say that apparently, hotties only come out after 12 because after a bit we began seeing quite a few guys that I had to admit were really good looking. I also saw a guy that shops at my store periodically. I thought that he was a cutie when I saw him while I was work and it was a plus that he was in this club tonite. It struck me that he reminds me of Damian from MTV's TRL. In fact he looks very much like Damian but he was only one of sea of many fine mofos walking around at this point. I also must take this time to mention that there were several shirtless hotties walking around as this will be important to the story later on. There was this guy representing Gold's Gym. He kept walking past me. I thought he was trying to torture me with his banging body, like he was the ghost of homosexual-past or something!
After a corona I was ready to dance, which was convenient cause David had to pee [the first of 3 trips to the bathroom for him] and the bathrooms were downstairs. After doing his business we headed out to the dance floor. I'm not too familiar with homosexual culture, but apparently the DJ was spinning some ppl's favorite joints cause the dance space was full. I like when ppl actually dance at a club. It means they are trying to have a good time. I got a spot close to the mirror and started trying to create Stomp The Yard 2. While dancing, simply minding my own business, I look up and see this girl I work with. I almost went into evasive action and prepared myself to duck out the back of the club, but I was having a good time and wasn't going to let her mess it up. There were several straight guys at this club, and I had only danced with a girl so far. We didn't acknowledge each other, but there was a point where we looked DIRECTLY into each other's faces. I thought I was going to die. I somehow managed to survive though.
I continued to dance for a while thinking surely David and Curtis will join me in a little bit and the three of us would be silly and dance around. Nope. I was on the floor alone as they watched from the sidelines. A "slower" song began to play and I started seeing folks grinding on each other, so I fled the dance floor and I re-joined the guys and we kinda bounced around to the side. That was at least until some girl eyed me and beckoned me to come dance with her. I accepted and we danced. She kept rubbing against my stuff. I was sooo sure that she was trying to get me hard. I mean girl was pulling out all her tightest moves and but there was no reponse from downstairs. Nothing. I wasn't aroused not one bit. The song went off, we hugged and parted. I went back over to my friends and we danced and laughed. I felt the night was winding down and was content with my club experience. I had gone out and seen a myriad of spectacles and I had laughed and had a great time.
Then I saw him. I had seen shirtless guys walking around all night. I wanted to touch some, but I didn't. I could only imagine the freaky crap that I would do to them. Well as I was dancing, minding my own business, I was approached by a cute guy. He was white, 5'9, a buck-60, slim build. He had a drink and came close to where my friends and I were standing. He danced next to me for a moment and we danced together. I had never dance with a guy up until that point. He was off beat sorta, so I sat him down and gave him...a lap dance. He was pleased and then we started grinding on each other. I think I lost all sense that there were other ppl in the club. I was thinking to myself that this guy is just teasing me. I saw him on the dance floor earlier dancing with some guy. It was clear that the dude wanted to fondle him, but 'shirtless' wasn't with it. He strictly wanted to dance. So, imagine my surprise when he takes my hand and rubs it up and down his body. It felt too good. We dance close almost rubbing noses, then BAM!! He kisses me. Tongue, lips, saliva all melt into one as I make-out with this guy in the middle of the club. I could not believe it. So continue dancing and kissing, then he to put his hands down my pants. I had on three shirts to that was difficult to accomplish, so I helped him out a little bit. So damnit I slide my hands down his pants. I fish around a little bit. We break apart, gather fresh air into our lungs and we go back to dancing mildy. At this point my heart is racing. David grabs my arm and says, "have you done this before?" I shake my head and yell no over the music. I had no idea what I was doing...I mean I had some idea, but I am not familiar with gay hook-up protocol.
The guy and I get back to our courtship, then like some slut I ask him to come to the bathroom with me. He agrees and we go back there, but a HUGE security guard is watching the back door, which is open as ppl had ventured out there to seal their own sexual deals. It's only my luck that the damn bathroom and back door are so close. I let him go in first, afraid that the guard would bust us if he suspected something. I did follow after him quickly. We had a little fun in the stall [which had no door] and then I watched him take a piss. I slunk out of the bathroom because five ppl walked in at that moment. Back in the club proper we plotted out departure. I suggested that we go somewhere. He said that he would go anywhere if I named a place. So, I said, "what about my apartment?" He agreed to go with me once we find his shirt. We looked around for a bit, but no luck. So I told him that I would give him mine.
I took the topmost of my shirts off and told him to put it on. He did and I led him and David out of the club. Curtis had already made his way out and was in his car [parked next to us]. David realized that I was planning on taking this guy home, and was a little upset that I hadn't introduced them. The truth was that I didn't even know the guy's name. He gave it up [the name] easily and shook David's hand. David asked me what I wanted to do, and I told him that Benjamin [for that was the name he gave us] and I wanted to go back to my place. David suggested that he wanted to be a part of the action, but Ben declined. He said that he wasn't into threesomes. I don't think I was up for a threesome either, I mean it was slutty enough to bring someone home from the club after three dances and not even knowing their name. Ben's refusal seem to hurt David's feelings. So, being the kind, sensitive, knowing friend that I am; I told Ben that tonite wasn't going to work out. I told him that I had fun and if he wanted to exchange numbers maybe we could call each other. He was upset at my snub. I was tempted to ask for my shirt back, but I let him keep it. He couldn't find his and I felt bad for leading him out of the club only to send him back like some fish that didn't quite meet my expectations.
David and I positively had it out for the next hour. I was very upset with him. I can't say with certainty what emotion made him mad at me, but the fact that he was angry with me completely pissed me off. I rarely get angry. I read once that anger was a weak emotion and was often the cause of that which we come to regret most dearly. So, I tried to be in control, but I was seething. We got back to my apartment and we continued our fight. Part of me wants to go and apologize to the rest of the building, lest they heard us yelling at 4am.
This whole thing really surprised me, because I felt like he was making me the bad guy. So, I brought up how selfish he was being. Had I not turned down my first guy to instead go back home with him? Did I not just seemingly lead this guy on only to deny him at the last minute because the friendship between David and I was more important than some random dick at a club? On a night that I was to have my first experience, I gave it up because my good friend had left empty-handed. I cited these things as he grew emotional. It only made me more upset. How could he cry? Why did he constantly have to make this about him? Flashback 2006: David threw me a 20th birthday party. I am constantly uptight, and often branded as the responsible one cause I only take VERY calculated risks. That party was my night to get wild and silly. David got drunk and completely stole the show. He went on a very well remembered rant. The next day he apologized and threw me a second [make-up] party the following week. Do I have to tell you guys that he did the same thing again?! I actually wasn't even mad. I grew up as the middle child, and I don't terribly care for the spotlight so it didn't pain me. I know that that kind of thing is just in his nature. Now here we were in present time on a night that was again supposed to be about me and my going to my first gay club and experiencing all these things which were so foreign to me...and David strikes again. He actually pointed out that this was the first time in all our arguments, and we had argued frequently, that I was actually angry with him. I told him that he can mark it down as the one night that I was really upset. The one time I decided to throw caution into the wind and do something irresponsible.
Well, we reconcile, and I offer to take him home and just crash at his house because he had to be to work at 9am. I really wanted to stay home and sleep in my bed but I had no problem with the offered arrangement. David and his two roommates and I used to live together for two year. We know each other very well. I took him to his place and he asked me to show him my dick again. I was exasperated. My dick couldn't take any more teasing for the night. I gave him the same answer as before. He decided that he wasn't sleepy yet and therefore I couldn't sleep either, so we ended up playing and laughing for the rest of the night while he pretended to come on to me, while I spurned his advances. Admittedly there have been nights, when restless I decided to amuse my self by keeping him up, so I can't say I didn't deserve it. Finally around 6:45 he went to bed and I fell on the sectional in the living room. I had slept on it before because we had it when we lived together, and the damn thing is so comfy that it's easy to crash on. I woke up and one of my other ex-roommates and I watched an episode of House and then he took me home. I proceeded to rush to my computer to type this ridiculously long account of my first gay night out. If you've made it this far...damn. Thank you for reading. You now know all about my first real [sober] experience with a guy. A part of me is glad that I didn't have some random hook-up, but my dick is still mad at me for turning down much needed sex. What's wrong with me? My f*!@ing fingers hurt now. Holla!
I've mentioned before that I wanted to go to a gay club, just to feel the vibe and also to get the curiosity out my system. Well, my friend David, a friend of his and I went last night. We chose the newest one in town, which neither of the two of them had ever been to. We got great parking and ended up right in front of the club, so we decided to do a little stake out and see what was up before entering. We ended up sitting outside for 20 mintues! Finally I went in to check it out for them so we could see if it was jumping or not. I walked into the door and there was this very short lady security guard who asked me for i.d. I politely told her that I was just checking the atmosphere out and had two friends that were waiting for me outside. I scoped out the scene: Bar: too small; number of ppl: deep as hell; and a throng of them gathered around a drag queen dancing to a song I didn't know.
So, I went back to the car and told them [in succinctly accurate detail] what was inside. David and I got out of his car and went to his friend Curtis' car but Curtis decided that he didn't want to get out. He wanted to go home instead. I had never met him, but I needed as much veteran support as possible on my first excursion. So, after some very deft coercion he agreed. As he gets out of his car, David turns to me and says, "You're good". I wanted to agree, but it wouldn't have been modest ;) As we approached the door I asked a young lady outside what it was like in the club. Though I had been inside, I had only seen unattractive ppl on the outside when we first parked. She said that it was jumping, but didn't know if it was my type of scene. I [because I love playing dumb] asked her what kind of scene was it. She told me that it was a gay club and that most straight guys probably couldn't handle it. I assured that I was looking for a good time, and if this club was popping then I would be ok. I was both intrigued and amused that she had assumed that I was straight.
So, we stroll into the club, immediately hit the bar and go up to a loft area in the back. We chill for a bit as we watch the Drag Queen show and as David and I point out who we each think is hot and those who should have not been allowed admittance. I must say that apparently, hotties only come out after 12 because after a bit we began seeing quite a few guys that I had to admit were really good looking. I also saw a guy that shops at my store periodically. I thought that he was a cutie when I saw him while I was work and it was a plus that he was in this club tonite. It struck me that he reminds me of Damian from MTV's TRL. In fact he looks very much like Damian but he was only one of sea of many fine mofos walking around at this point. I also must take this time to mention that there were several shirtless hotties walking around as this will be important to the story later on. There was this guy representing Gold's Gym. He kept walking past me. I thought he was trying to torture me with his banging body, like he was the ghost of homosexual-past or something!
After a corona I was ready to dance, which was convenient cause David had to pee [the first of 3 trips to the bathroom for him] and the bathrooms were downstairs. After doing his business we headed out to the dance floor. I'm not too familiar with homosexual culture, but apparently the DJ was spinning some ppl's favorite joints cause the dance space was full. I like when ppl actually dance at a club. It means they are trying to have a good time. I got a spot close to the mirror and started trying to create Stomp The Yard 2. While dancing, simply minding my own business, I look up and see this girl I work with. I almost went into evasive action and prepared myself to duck out the back of the club, but I was having a good time and wasn't going to let her mess it up. There were several straight guys at this club, and I had only danced with a girl so far. We didn't acknowledge each other, but there was a point where we looked DIRECTLY into each other's faces. I thought I was going to die. I somehow managed to survive though.
I continued to dance for a while thinking surely David and Curtis will join me in a little bit and the three of us would be silly and dance around. Nope. I was on the floor alone as they watched from the sidelines. A "slower" song began to play and I started seeing folks grinding on each other, so I fled the dance floor and I re-joined the guys and we kinda bounced around to the side. That was at least until some girl eyed me and beckoned me to come dance with her. I accepted and we danced. She kept rubbing against my stuff. I was sooo sure that she was trying to get me hard. I mean girl was pulling out all her tightest moves and but there was no reponse from downstairs. Nothing. I wasn't aroused not one bit. The song went off, we hugged and parted. I went back over to my friends and we danced and laughed. I felt the night was winding down and was content with my club experience. I had gone out and seen a myriad of spectacles and I had laughed and had a great time.
Then I saw him. I had seen shirtless guys walking around all night. I wanted to touch some, but I didn't. I could only imagine the freaky crap that I would do to them. Well as I was dancing, minding my own business, I was approached by a cute guy. He was white, 5'9, a buck-60, slim build. He had a drink and came close to where my friends and I were standing. He danced next to me for a moment and we danced together. I had never dance with a guy up until that point. He was off beat sorta, so I sat him down and gave him...a lap dance. He was pleased and then we started grinding on each other. I think I lost all sense that there were other ppl in the club. I was thinking to myself that this guy is just teasing me. I saw him on the dance floor earlier dancing with some guy. It was clear that the dude wanted to fondle him, but 'shirtless' wasn't with it. He strictly wanted to dance. So, imagine my surprise when he takes my hand and rubs it up and down his body. It felt too good. We dance close almost rubbing noses, then BAM!! He kisses me. Tongue, lips, saliva all melt into one as I make-out with this guy in the middle of the club. I could not believe it. So continue dancing and kissing, then he to put his hands down my pants. I had on three shirts to that was difficult to accomplish, so I helped him out a little bit. So damnit I slide my hands down his pants. I fish around a little bit. We break apart, gather fresh air into our lungs and we go back to dancing mildy. At this point my heart is racing. David grabs my arm and says, "have you done this before?" I shake my head and yell no over the music. I had no idea what I was doing...I mean I had some idea, but I am not familiar with gay hook-up protocol.
The guy and I get back to our courtship, then like some slut I ask him to come to the bathroom with me. He agrees and we go back there, but a HUGE security guard is watching the back door, which is open as ppl had ventured out there to seal their own sexual deals. It's only my luck that the damn bathroom and back door are so close. I let him go in first, afraid that the guard would bust us if he suspected something. I did follow after him quickly. We had a little fun in the stall [which had no door] and then I watched him take a piss. I slunk out of the bathroom because five ppl walked in at that moment. Back in the club proper we plotted out departure. I suggested that we go somewhere. He said that he would go anywhere if I named a place. So, I said, "what about my apartment?" He agreed to go with me once we find his shirt. We looked around for a bit, but no luck. So I told him that I would give him mine.
I took the topmost of my shirts off and told him to put it on. He did and I led him and David out of the club. Curtis had already made his way out and was in his car [parked next to us]. David realized that I was planning on taking this guy home, and was a little upset that I hadn't introduced them. The truth was that I didn't even know the guy's name. He gave it up [the name] easily and shook David's hand. David asked me what I wanted to do, and I told him that Benjamin [for that was the name he gave us] and I wanted to go back to my place. David suggested that he wanted to be a part of the action, but Ben declined. He said that he wasn't into threesomes. I don't think I was up for a threesome either, I mean it was slutty enough to bring someone home from the club after three dances and not even knowing their name. Ben's refusal seem to hurt David's feelings. So, being the kind, sensitive, knowing friend that I am; I told Ben that tonite wasn't going to work out. I told him that I had fun and if he wanted to exchange numbers maybe we could call each other. He was upset at my snub. I was tempted to ask for my shirt back, but I let him keep it. He couldn't find his and I felt bad for leading him out of the club only to send him back like some fish that didn't quite meet my expectations.
David and I positively had it out for the next hour. I was very upset with him. I can't say with certainty what emotion made him mad at me, but the fact that he was angry with me completely pissed me off. I rarely get angry. I read once that anger was a weak emotion and was often the cause of that which we come to regret most dearly. So, I tried to be in control, but I was seething. We got back to my apartment and we continued our fight. Part of me wants to go and apologize to the rest of the building, lest they heard us yelling at 4am.
This whole thing really surprised me, because I felt like he was making me the bad guy. So, I brought up how selfish he was being. Had I not turned down my first guy to instead go back home with him? Did I not just seemingly lead this guy on only to deny him at the last minute because the friendship between David and I was more important than some random dick at a club? On a night that I was to have my first experience, I gave it up because my good friend had left empty-handed. I cited these things as he grew emotional. It only made me more upset. How could he cry? Why did he constantly have to make this about him? Flashback 2006: David threw me a 20th birthday party. I am constantly uptight, and often branded as the responsible one cause I only take VERY calculated risks. That party was my night to get wild and silly. David got drunk and completely stole the show. He went on a very well remembered rant. The next day he apologized and threw me a second [make-up] party the following week. Do I have to tell you guys that he did the same thing again?! I actually wasn't even mad. I grew up as the middle child, and I don't terribly care for the spotlight so it didn't pain me. I know that that kind of thing is just in his nature. Now here we were in present time on a night that was again supposed to be about me and my going to my first gay club and experiencing all these things which were so foreign to me...and David strikes again. He actually pointed out that this was the first time in all our arguments, and we had argued frequently, that I was actually angry with him. I told him that he can mark it down as the one night that I was really upset. The one time I decided to throw caution into the wind and do something irresponsible.
Well, we reconcile, and I offer to take him home and just crash at his house because he had to be to work at 9am. I really wanted to stay home and sleep in my bed but I had no problem with the offered arrangement. David and his two roommates and I used to live together for two year. We know each other very well. I took him to his place and he asked me to show him my dick again. I was exasperated. My dick couldn't take any more teasing for the night. I gave him the same answer as before. He decided that he wasn't sleepy yet and therefore I couldn't sleep either, so we ended up playing and laughing for the rest of the night while he pretended to come on to me, while I spurned his advances. Admittedly there have been nights, when restless I decided to amuse my self by keeping him up, so I can't say I didn't deserve it. Finally around 6:45 he went to bed and I fell on the sectional in the living room. I had slept on it before because we had it when we lived together, and the damn thing is so comfy that it's easy to crash on. I woke up and one of my other ex-roommates and I watched an episode of House and then he took me home. I proceeded to rush to my computer to type this ridiculously long account of my first gay night out. If you've made it this far...damn. Thank you for reading. You now know all about my first real [sober] experience with a guy. A part of me is glad that I didn't have some random hook-up, but my dick is still mad at me for turning down much needed sex. What's wrong with me? My f*!@ing fingers hurt now. Holla!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
So, I know I'm posting less and less, but that's not because I'm not on. I'm still commenting and reading some very good stuff. I simply find that I have less and less to say as my life spirals into the obscurity of complete and utter boredom.
I do have one story. It's not terribly funny, its kinda rude I guess. There is this gay guy at my job, cool dude. I sent him a text message while he was out of town and told him that I had something important to tell him. It was my plan to come out to him. I don't know why him. I guess it would be easier cause he's gay, but I don't know whether he has a big mouth or not. Well, today as I was getting ready to leave I started thinking whether or not it hurts to take it up the rear. Having never done it, nor attempted to place anything up my rear for that matter, I was in my opinion understandibly curious. So, I asked him. He avoided me for a few minutes, but then said that it depends on who you are. So, THEN I asked what he meant by "who you are"? Was that supposed to mean if you're swinging a bat then you can hurt somebody? Our conversation was interrupted by a female associate and he took the chance to disappear.
Thought for the Day
"What kind of different things can you fit in an asshole? [no confessions necessary]
Song
Without [interlude] & Can U Help Me by Usher
I do have one story. It's not terribly funny, its kinda rude I guess. There is this gay guy at my job, cool dude. I sent him a text message while he was out of town and told him that I had something important to tell him. It was my plan to come out to him. I don't know why him. I guess it would be easier cause he's gay, but I don't know whether he has a big mouth or not. Well, today as I was getting ready to leave I started thinking whether or not it hurts to take it up the rear. Having never done it, nor attempted to place anything up my rear for that matter, I was in my opinion understandibly curious. So, I asked him. He avoided me for a few minutes, but then said that it depends on who you are. So, THEN I asked what he meant by "who you are"? Was that supposed to mean if you're swinging a bat then you can hurt somebody? Our conversation was interrupted by a female associate and he took the chance to disappear.
Thought for the Day
"What kind of different things can you fit in an asshole? [no confessions necessary]
Song
Without [interlude] & Can U Help Me by Usher
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Do I Say Something?
So, apparently the impression is that I am straight. I can see how that people would get that impression, but it seems like a large assumption to me. I just finished hearing my two housemates and a friend of theirs speaking in our living room. They were talking about the guy catching some gay dudes in his fraternity having sex. The way that he was describing what went down was slightly disturbing. I know that if my sexual preference was common knowledge that the conversation would not have gone on. But what's the point where I say something?
I'm 6'1'', 230. I can say without ego that the three of them together couldn't have taken me. I'm not angry, but I am curious as to why guys sit around and talk about stuff like that? Is there nothing else to discuss? I think straight guys have some obsession about knowing who is gay and who is not, as if somehow those of us who are might to plan to jump them in showers and buttfuck their brains out.
Song
"Slow Motion" Karina Pasian
I'm 6'1'', 230. I can say without ego that the three of them together couldn't have taken me. I'm not angry, but I am curious as to why guys sit around and talk about stuff like that? Is there nothing else to discuss? I think straight guys have some obsession about knowing who is gay and who is not, as if somehow those of us who are might to plan to jump them in showers and buttfuck their brains out.
Song
"Slow Motion" Karina Pasian
Monday, October 20, 2008
You Walked Outta My Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had a job interview today. It was a group interview, which I've never had before. I tried to stand out without drawing attention to myself. I think I made a good impression. There was a guy there that was REALLY good looking. I immediately thought "Man, you should be modeling, NOT working here." It was cool cause I think that he's one of those guys that are oblivious to the fact that he's completely hot. There's something attractive about people not knowing that they're complete eye-candy and are probably being eye-raped by males and females. Oh course I didn't talk to him. I'm usually decent at spontaneous pulling a convo out of mid-air. It's kinda of important to my current job cause I'm a cashier and people always want to explain why they're buying/for whom they are buying it for while I'm ringing up there stuff.
There was a guy who already worked there that was cute too. He asked me how the interview went and I said cool. I wanted to say "it was alright, but you could make it better if you gave me your phone number." But of course I didn't say that. I just smiled and said "it was cool".
So, I have two roommates. One is deffo gay. I have a talent for getting people to confide in me. I tried to encourage him to come out, but he didn't go for the bait. I am ZERO percent interested physically, but I kinda wanna know. There's still time. The other guy is straight. He's cool too. He plays guitar and I play piano, so we were thrilled to get the chance to jam together a few times. He's teaching me to play guitar in exchange for piano lessons. His ex came over today and they had a fight that started in our living room and ended up in the parking lot. It was quite dramatic. She came over to get some of her stuff that she left. She was clearly miffed about something, but when he asked her she said that nothing was wrong (which is a whole other subject abt why chicks say nothing when it's something), but she was upset. So, his asking her what was wrong basically turned into a back and forth about why they broke up. He screamed that she was the one that walked out of his life. I kept thinking that a really good song is gonna come out of this, but I stayed out of it. When I see him I'll probably ask what went wrong, try to be a friend.
I think that I will do a "Today's Thought" section at the end of my posts. Just some random things I've been wondering since I'm new to all this. Maybe I can get some of you guys to give me some feedback; and since I am ALWAYS listening to music, even when I'm not listening to music, I'll also post what's currently playing on my computer or in my head.
"Today's Thought"
I wonder the likelihood of one of my friends or fam finding this blog and putting 2 and 2 together?
Playing: JRice-"One More Day" on youtube
~E
There was a guy who already worked there that was cute too. He asked me how the interview went and I said cool. I wanted to say "it was alright, but you could make it better if you gave me your phone number." But of course I didn't say that. I just smiled and said "it was cool".
So, I have two roommates. One is deffo gay. I have a talent for getting people to confide in me. I tried to encourage him to come out, but he didn't go for the bait. I am ZERO percent interested physically, but I kinda wanna know. There's still time. The other guy is straight. He's cool too. He plays guitar and I play piano, so we were thrilled to get the chance to jam together a few times. He's teaching me to play guitar in exchange for piano lessons. His ex came over today and they had a fight that started in our living room and ended up in the parking lot. It was quite dramatic. She came over to get some of her stuff that she left. She was clearly miffed about something, but when he asked her she said that nothing was wrong (which is a whole other subject abt why chicks say nothing when it's something), but she was upset. So, his asking her what was wrong basically turned into a back and forth about why they broke up. He screamed that she was the one that walked out of his life. I kept thinking that a really good song is gonna come out of this, but I stayed out of it. When I see him I'll probably ask what went wrong, try to be a friend.
I think that I will do a "Today's Thought" section at the end of my posts. Just some random things I've been wondering since I'm new to all this. Maybe I can get some of you guys to give me some feedback; and since I am ALWAYS listening to music, even when I'm not listening to music, I'll also post what's currently playing on my computer or in my head.
"Today's Thought"
I wonder the likelihood of one of my friends or fam finding this blog and putting 2 and 2 together?
Playing: JRice-"One More Day" on youtube
~E
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)