*This should have been posted a while ago, but I just left it in my drafts...
12/22/2008
For the first time in a while I cooked last night. My best friend Tiffany had been talking for weeks about cooking and we never quite got to it. I'm a pretty good cook and we've made stuff before with great success, so finally we went to the store and gathered what we needed to make dinner. Usually she handles the desert and I cook the main dishes. This time we decided to do a little of both. I made a stir-fry chicken and fettucine. Tiff made some mashed potatoes and peach cobbler. I made a secret family dessert and it was a hit. Her boyfriend keeps asking me how to make and I feel bad cause I'm sworn to secrecy.
Present
So, we cooked again last night. I made something quick before I had to go to work, but it was pretty tasty. I always get excited about cooking. I used to do it all the time for my little brother after our older siblings moved out and our parents started working later in the day.
*Update on the book. I will be posting a new excerpt in the next few days. I got some new readers on the blog so I'm kinda excited about that and I think that it would be cool for them to get to read a bit and tell me what they think. I'm going to try to create a poll to vote on whether I should put the prologue back up. So, the people who read can let me know whether it should be re-posted for a bit. Typing about this gets me excited and nervous.
I'll also be explaining soon how I came up with my blog's title and how it all started
Song
"T.O.N.Y." by Solange
Showing posts with label song. Show all posts
Showing posts with label song. Show all posts
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Real Me
My friend David and I had a very constructive conversation. I've mentioned him before because he's the only person that knows that I like guys. He came out to me two and half years ago, and I reciprocated that trust last year this time. Since then we've been closer than the two of us ever had.
David was over at my apartment recently [I was making him a cd] and we got to talking. Our talks are usually very constructive and honest. He used to think that I held back, but we've cleared that up. So, we were covering various topics when he decided that we should talk about me. Now, I must say that of all my friends the subject of me rarely comes up. That is intentional. I am very good at keeping people talking, which is probably why they end up telling me things that they would normally keep secret. David knows my technique and refused to let me employ it. He was clever enough to sense when I was trying to lead the conversation from myself. This ended up forcing me to tell him many of the reasons why I over-analyze everything, etc.
It was funny because a few times I answered a question before he had asked it. He was surprised that I knew where he was going next, but I was admittedly even more surprised; not at myself of course, but at the fact that he was prepared to ask what I thought seemed like a very good question, and they weren't linear in the sense that it was logical to come next.
He was very receptive and he had plenty of advice. It was both scary and refreshing to finally be the one that was able to let large amounts of me to spill out. I can't remember having ever done it for anyone. Ever. I told him about all the Me's that I play; and by that I am referring to all of the different "Masks" *AEK* that I wear. The masks don't necessarily signal a complete change in me, but they express the parts of my personality that I repress and the parts that I accentuate in a specific venue. So all of the things that I want people to see in me come out in respect to the setting I am in.
I do think that his perception of me changed. There was a palpable difference in how he viewed me as a person after our conversation. Not pity, but sadness for how much I hide behind these masks. He did encourage me to tell a few of our friends. I declined.
"Thought of the Day"
Does coming out get easier after the first person?
Song
"Pressure" by Paramore
David was over at my apartment recently [I was making him a cd] and we got to talking. Our talks are usually very constructive and honest. He used to think that I held back, but we've cleared that up. So, we were covering various topics when he decided that we should talk about me. Now, I must say that of all my friends the subject of me rarely comes up. That is intentional. I am very good at keeping people talking, which is probably why they end up telling me things that they would normally keep secret. David knows my technique and refused to let me employ it. He was clever enough to sense when I was trying to lead the conversation from myself. This ended up forcing me to tell him many of the reasons why I over-analyze everything, etc.
It was funny because a few times I answered a question before he had asked it. He was surprised that I knew where he was going next, but I was admittedly even more surprised; not at myself of course, but at the fact that he was prepared to ask what I thought seemed like a very good question, and they weren't linear in the sense that it was logical to come next.
He was very receptive and he had plenty of advice. It was both scary and refreshing to finally be the one that was able to let large amounts of me to spill out. I can't remember having ever done it for anyone. Ever. I told him about all the Me's that I play; and by that I am referring to all of the different "Masks" *AEK* that I wear. The masks don't necessarily signal a complete change in me, but they express the parts of my personality that I repress and the parts that I accentuate in a specific venue. So all of the things that I want people to see in me come out in respect to the setting I am in.
I do think that his perception of me changed. There was a palpable difference in how he viewed me as a person after our conversation. Not pity, but sadness for how much I hide behind these masks. He did encourage me to tell a few of our friends. I declined.
"Thought of the Day"
Does coming out get easier after the first person?
Song
"Pressure" by Paramore
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
So, I know I'm posting less and less, but that's not because I'm not on. I'm still commenting and reading some very good stuff. I simply find that I have less and less to say as my life spirals into the obscurity of complete and utter boredom.
I do have one story. It's not terribly funny, its kinda rude I guess. There is this gay guy at my job, cool dude. I sent him a text message while he was out of town and told him that I had something important to tell him. It was my plan to come out to him. I don't know why him. I guess it would be easier cause he's gay, but I don't know whether he has a big mouth or not. Well, today as I was getting ready to leave I started thinking whether or not it hurts to take it up the rear. Having never done it, nor attempted to place anything up my rear for that matter, I was in my opinion understandibly curious. So, I asked him. He avoided me for a few minutes, but then said that it depends on who you are. So, THEN I asked what he meant by "who you are"? Was that supposed to mean if you're swinging a bat then you can hurt somebody? Our conversation was interrupted by a female associate and he took the chance to disappear.
Thought for the Day
"What kind of different things can you fit in an asshole? [no confessions necessary]
Song
Without [interlude] & Can U Help Me by Usher
I do have one story. It's not terribly funny, its kinda rude I guess. There is this gay guy at my job, cool dude. I sent him a text message while he was out of town and told him that I had something important to tell him. It was my plan to come out to him. I don't know why him. I guess it would be easier cause he's gay, but I don't know whether he has a big mouth or not. Well, today as I was getting ready to leave I started thinking whether or not it hurts to take it up the rear. Having never done it, nor attempted to place anything up my rear for that matter, I was in my opinion understandibly curious. So, I asked him. He avoided me for a few minutes, but then said that it depends on who you are. So, THEN I asked what he meant by "who you are"? Was that supposed to mean if you're swinging a bat then you can hurt somebody? Our conversation was interrupted by a female associate and he took the chance to disappear.
Thought for the Day
"What kind of different things can you fit in an asshole? [no confessions necessary]
Song
Without [interlude] & Can U Help Me by Usher
Sunday, October 26, 2008
One is the Loneliest Number.......
....and I should know,
cause when I'm with you time just flies
but without you it goes slow,
and the minutes turn into days
and days become years
and it's hard to find your way
when your eyes are clouded with tears
so lie awake at night
tryna find a reason why
you let her leave at all
It's a feeling you never get used to
what once was there
is no longer next to you
and it don't seem fair
there was nothing you could do,
once love has taken control its hard to let go,
but its better to have loved and lost and then let it go
than not loved at all and never know
it's just a chance that you take
that might cause your heart to break
but eventually you'll come back for more......
I guess that this is another one that I hadn't quite finished. Quite truthfully its a song that I had written five and half years ago, but there was never any music composed for it as I couldn't play piano at the time. I eventually found a piano at my school during my freshman year in college. I could read music cause I played sax in middle school, so between finding sheet music and mimicking what I heard on the radio, I learned how to play. I'm in three years deep and pretty good. Comments, criticism, interpretations, etc. are all welcome!
~E
cause when I'm with you time just flies
but without you it goes slow,
and the minutes turn into days
and days become years
and it's hard to find your way
when your eyes are clouded with tears
so lie awake at night
tryna find a reason why
you let her leave at all
It's a feeling you never get used to
what once was there
is no longer next to you
and it don't seem fair
there was nothing you could do,
once love has taken control its hard to let go,
but its better to have loved and lost and then let it go
than not loved at all and never know
it's just a chance that you take
that might cause your heart to break
but eventually you'll come back for more......
I guess that this is another one that I hadn't quite finished. Quite truthfully its a song that I had written five and half years ago, but there was never any music composed for it as I couldn't play piano at the time. I eventually found a piano at my school during my freshman year in college. I could read music cause I played sax in middle school, so between finding sheet music and mimicking what I heard on the radio, I learned how to play. I'm in three years deep and pretty good. Comments, criticism, interpretations, etc. are all welcome!
~E
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