So, apparently the impression is that I am straight. I can see how that people would get that impression, but it seems like a large assumption to me. I just finished hearing my two housemates and a friend of theirs speaking in our living room. They were talking about the guy catching some gay dudes in his fraternity having sex. The way that he was describing what went down was slightly disturbing. I know that if my sexual preference was common knowledge that the conversation would not have gone on. But what's the point where I say something?
I'm 6'1'', 230. I can say without ego that the three of them together couldn't have taken me. I'm not angry, but I am curious as to why guys sit around and talk about stuff like that? Is there nothing else to discuss? I think straight guys have some obsession about knowing who is gay and who is not, as if somehow those of us who are might to plan to jump them in showers and buttfuck their brains out.
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"Slow Motion" Karina Pasian
7 comments:
I think part of the reason (ostensibly straight) guys talk about stuff like that is so they can make sure the other guys know they're, you know, not, like, gay or something. In other words, it's a crutch, of sorts.
"I heard about these two guys having sex and it was gross 'cause, dude! I'm waaaay straight I want to make that absolutely clear . . . by talking about how guys having sex disturbs me."
.... and yet they are secretly fascinated deep inside. Because it speaks to some primal urge, or maybe they are just closet cases.
Alot of straights seem to NEED to make an affirmation of their own (hetero)-sexuality, like Mr.HCI said, in order to make themselves feel more comfortable.
This is what leads to homophobia - remember - phobia is something you are AFRAID of. And people who are ignorant, people who are not totally sure about their own sexual identity, are afraid of what they might discover. They address their fears by verbalizing and covering up their own true feelings in a mask of masculinity.
Carry this a bit further and a bit more physical, and you have gay bashing.
Carry this one-on-one, and you have some makings of a naughty scene - maybe after a few beers.
:)
The "point when you say something" is your choice. Do you feel uncomfortable with what they are discussing? Obviously. Does that mean you have to "come out" and declare your sexual preference? Not necessarily. But you can say something like "hey guys, thats really not cool to talk about (person) like that..." or something. Of course, then they might wonder about YOU.
But, guys will be guys, and yes, sadly, one thing guys talk about is other guys, especially GAY guys. Sometimes more gossipy than a bunch of teenage girls, but in their own macho way.
However, you can rest with the knowledge that YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE to them. Hopefully, you feel that you can be who you are, who you want to be, and if they don't like it, well then fuck 'em (not literally LOL).
I'm also a big guy, and about 90% of the time, people, especially men, think (or just assume) I am str8. I guess it has something to do with physical size, and stereotypes - gays usually thought of as smaller, weaker, effeminite, not like linebackers.
Quite often, even though it really pisses me off when people assume, or when people are talking just like your housemates, I find myself just nodding along or not saying anything. I figure, I'm not saying yes, I'm not saying no, I'm not really getting involved in the discussion.
Its sometimes just easier to remove yourself completely.
Anyway, sorry for rambling.
i believe that they're are no straight people in the world, i believe that there has been a moment in everyones mind where they were like damn i wonder how it would feel to just for a moment to be with someone of the same sex
imo say something like..
"hey watch it. my brother's gay"
or something. no quetions asked :)
Wow, you are 6'1 and 230 pounds. Where have you been my whole life. Hahahaha! I am 6'2 200 pounds. Check out my blog!! The reason straight guys talk about gay guys so much is because they are curious to know what it is like to be with another man. Every straight man has the potential to swing, they either do it and never speak of it or never do it and act like they never would. Check out my blog!
Oh, yeah... That's crazy that you didn't jump in the conversation! Hahahaha!
My old Aunty May once told me in her strong Belfast brogue, "Never piss on your own doorstep unless you're ready to clean up the mess." It's not always appropriate to 'fight for the cause'.
Those guys you mentioned probably read 'National Enquirer' too ... between that and steroids, you can just watch all the bits they value shrink and atrophy. And giggle quietly - you hunky monkey! =]
G x
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