Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I guess it separated us...

Had to do an overnight at work the other day. Inventory. It sucked. I did have an interesting exchange. I had to count stuff and the manager partnered me with my best friend Tiffany. She and I haven't spoken to each other in about 4 weeks. We had a heated exchange by text one night and haven't been speaking since. Fortunately we had to communicate last night to complete our task and our usual banter came back surprisingly easily. I'm glad to be on good terms with her again. We've had each other's back for quite a while and for me, not having my close friend in my corner was a bit painful. So last night was an absolute gift. We banished that rift that had lain between us and became friends again. Our ensuing conversation at having to work with each other was familiar and comforting and straight our funny. It reminded me why we became friends in the first place. We don't have loads in common but we get along great. Fantastic, really; and we understand and give each other space and deference. When we do annoy one another we just leave each other alone for a day or two and that displaces what ever made the other upset.

This time we just never spoke after our fall-out. I suspect she was hurt that I choose to bail on her. But I can't confirm it because we just decided to move forward. A large part of me wants to tell her about being gay. I never thought it was an really, really important topic before I lied to her about going to the club. She doesn't know I lied, but that doesn't assuage my guilt. I knew a few months ago that all this would either come out or separate us as friends. I guess it separated us.

I know it's my fault for letting it become the wedge that jacked up our friendship, but I didn't have the courage to tell her. Plus I didn't want to be judged, or quizzed, or trapped....que hago?


Aek said...

:( I have no advice, my brain is mush. I hope your friendship with Tiffany survives this snag. I'm sure it'll be fine in the end. *hugs*

naturgesetz said...

Will it continue to separate you? You'll know pretty soon if the recent separation has been ended.

A long-term friendship can include a zone of privacy which extends to the question of orientation. But if one friend insists on knowing, either the other friend is honest or the friendship is destroyed, IMO.

If you can trust her not to tell other people, why not tell?

E said...

Aek- Thanks for your encouraging words.

naturgesetz- I have planned it out. I'm going to see if she still wants to be friends. If she still considers us friends, then when we are alone then I'm definitely gonna tell her. I wanted to do it during the overnight, but I didn't know if our friendship had withstood our stubborn behavior.

Other than that, I'm about 96% sure that I'll tell her the next time we have a conversation.

jay.osa said...

i think you have a good plan.

Mr. HCI said...

Continuing to lie will only make the separation deeper. Telling her on the overnight would've been a good idea only if you told her at the end, since a bad reaction early in the shift would've been Hell for both of you.

My gut feeling is she knows you're lying and is pissed that you've told others and not her. I could be wrong, of course.

Best of luck!